Flax Eyes!: January 2008

Top Of The Pops (TOTP) was a British music television show featuring bands on TOP of the POP charts (duh!). It ran from 1964 until 2006. The show was ridiculous for a number of reasons (as you shall see) but mainly because the bands "performed" (mimed and lip synced) to their commercially recorded song. This concept was never really a secret to anyone and most bands opted to look professional by "playing" along... while some played it up (the Brits say "taking a piss"). Sometime in the early nineties TOTP starting allowing the lead singers to actually sing live over the backing musical track (the other musicians still never played). Overall the show is littered with irony and sarcasm (whether intentional or not)... but the Brits love that sort of thing and so do I!

10. Sparks / This Town Ain't Big Enough

Definitely one of most underrated bands of all time (and this list). Ron Mael's creepy hair, glares, and EVERYTHING definitely steal the show.
[Side Note: Yip 1 (or 2, I can never remember) just pointed out that David Kendrick, who later joined Devo, is playing drums. MORE FUN DEVO FACTS: Jim Mothersbaugh was a drum tech for Sparks!]

9. Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) / Enola Gay

An incredible song with an incredible performance by lead singer Andy McCluskey. He reminds me of a teenager singing and dancing to his favorite song in front of his bedroom mirror. What I can't figure out is why the producer/sound engineer decided to mic the audience so loudly through the entire song? And what's with all the chitter chatter people? This song is clearly about moving and shaking!
[Side Note: Actually this song is about the horrible atomic bombing of Hiroshima by the US plane, Enola Gay, which happened on August 6, 1945... 34 years prior to the day I was born!]

8. The Specials / Gangsters

Lead singer Terry Hall looks absolutely bored out of his mind here! Ha! In their other performance for Do Nothing (appropriately titled) he looks even more bored and is chewing gum. I chose this performance because I think Gangsters is much better and more upbeat (in complete contrast to Terry's disposition). Turrific!
[Side Note: While The Specials were skanking it up during this TOTP episode, I was busy being 2 weeks old and my parents were trying to figure out which of the 2 tones I was!]

7. Madness / One Step Beyond

Madness definitely win out for having the MOST amount of AMAZING performances on TOTP (see Baggy Trousers, Cardiac Arrest, and Our House). I chose One Step Beyond because it's an instrumental track and that's pretty ironic. Dancing through the crowd was a fun idea as well.
[Side Note: Yes, two ska bands on one PRAISEWORTHY list.]

6. Cameo / Word Up!

Not half as good as their videos but at least two times better than almost every other band who has appeared on TOTP. I'm especially happy that Larry Blackman is adorning his Candy Apple Red jockstrap/cup.
[Side Note: Yes, my POPS still questions my sexual orientation!]

5. The Smiths / William, It Was Really Nothing

The quasi-God is up to his old tricks again: Graceful Charisma, Paradoxical Messages , Immaculate Hair... and he doesn't even need a microphone to do it!
[Side Note: No, I don't have a Morrissey poster in my room and Yes, I DO like women.. although celibacy is a beautiful thing!]

4. The Sundays / Summertime

First off, I'm a little biased because this is one of my favorite bands of all time (meaning: I've liked everything they've done... with the exception of their cover of Wild Horses but that's mostly because I don't like The Rolling Stones... with the exception of their song Start Me Up). This is a rare TOTP performance in that Harriet Wheeler sang live and sounded pretty flat (especially in that first verse before the Light of God shines upon her and she perks up a bit). This song is still incredible and whenever I hear it I get an insatiable urge to make a smoothie thanks to this video.
[Side Note: I've said this before and I'll say it again, Harriet Wheeler is SEXY!]

3. The Wedding Present / Flying Saucer

Every Wedding Present song EVER is about David Gedge's horribly shattered romantic endeavors... which makes this Devo-esque performance that much more IRONIC?
[Side Note: Every Cinerama song EVER is about David Gedge's horribly shattered romantic endeavors.]

2. The Rezillos / Top of the Pops

Wry Scottish Wit, there's so much irony here I can't even begin. Also, I am completely mesmerized by Faye Fife's stage presence... she makes me want to start the craziest band! (see also My Baby Does Good Sculptures)
[Side Note: Uhhhhh... I just found out that Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight was originally recorded by Fleetwood Mac (before they were good) which adds more and more irony!]
[Side Note To The Previous Side Note: The video I linked for Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight is the opening scene of Jackass: The Movie which is "the all-time greatest opening scene of a movie ever" according to my POPS.]

1. Nirvana / Smells Like Teens Spirit

Clearly the greatest and FUNNIEST performance of TOTP's history. I laugh every time Kurt starts singing. This video speaks for itself and shows that Nirvana was one of the most IRONIC bands ever.
[Side Note: I hadn't noticed before this rendition but this song is ABOUT ME!... starting at 1:22 he sings "A mulatto? An albiNO! A Petito! My libido? "]

10. Suzanne Vega / Beauty & Crime

I've had a crush on Suzanne Vega ever since Luka lived on the second floor.

9. Anna Järvinen / Jag Fick Feeling

Anna Järvinen is slightly reminiscent of a Swedish Harriet Wheeler and Harriet Wheeler is sexy!

8. Taken By Trees / Open Field

I love Victoria Bergman's hair and voice.

7. Sambassadeur / Migration

Anna Persson, yet another sexy Swede.

6. Múm / Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy

I know that the Valtýsdóttir sisters (the sexiest Icelandic twins on the planet) are no longer in this band but the three new ladies are looking so sweet!

5. The Postmarks / Self-titled

The Postmarks played one of the more boring shows I saw this year but I can't tell you how badly I wanted to smell Tim Yehezkely's twisted ankle sweat. Sexy!

4. Celebration / The Modern Tribe

I'm willing to overlook the fact that Celebration is from Baltimore only because Katrina Ford has soul... and sex appeal!

3. Bat For Lashes / Fur & Gold

Natasha Khan is the sexiest English Gypsy/Indian I've ever seen.

2. Blonde Redhead / 23

What's sexier than Italian twin brothers and Kazu Makino (who's face was trampled by a horse)?

1. Club 8 / The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Dreaming

It's true, I can't stop dreaming about Karolina Komstedt.