That Ain't Acne Homie!

For the next 7 days only the following items will be entering my body:

Lemon or Lime Juice
Grade B Maple Syrup
Distilled Water
Cayenne Pepper
Smooth Move Tea
Salt Water

In order to fully prepare myself for this cleanse, I felt it was absolutely necessary to share in a monumental experience at Mongolian BBQ Buffet with a couple of shredders:


I shared my first rangoon (and crossing piss stream) experience with this bearded genius.


After a few years of waiting, I finally got the famous hand-scooped bowl of ice cream from this little faggot. Watch out for that tip drip!

HEY! Been Trying To Meet You

I just want to say that there was this girl at Albertson's tonight looking oh so lovely while she was purchasing some rice cakes, bread, pom tea and red swedish fish. I was thinking she might just be my wife since Hootie & The Blowfish (Only Wanna Be With You) starting playing over the in-store radio just as I was telling TJ that I can't imagine being married to the same person for the rest of my life. This may all be tied into the prophetic word I keep hearing from Pat Benatar (truly seeing is believing):



I also can't imagine why Wendy's went ahead and spoiled a classic tradition with this mediocre treat:

Lick Lick Limerick

what if your fingers were uncooked cookies
and your lips, puffed pastries?
i'd kiss you til the jelly rolled my tongue
and made my body tasty.

Little Known Factoid

This beautiful man was once married to this sexy beast.

Virgil And His Bavarian Nutmeg

A couple of gents got together to enjoy some frothy beverages that are only (micro)brewed during a select time of the year.

Residents Of 222 Ranger

The following cast of characters have lived at 222 Ranger at one time or another...

1. Jason Shuster
2. Bryan Sours
3. Tic Bowen
4. Richard Barnocky
5. Brian Farinas
6. Alex Suarez
7. Tyler Petito
8. Brian Bascoff
9. Kristin Jones
10. Kaley Jones
11. Carson Law
12. Brandy (and diva)
13. Jen Haines
14. Whitney Krahn
15. Andi Petito
16. Kyle Dreamcatcher
17. Kari Hall
18. Derek Boik
19. Jimmy Francis
20. Jason Temple
21. Brian Esser
22. Travis Stewart
23. Sara Stock
24. Trevor Allen
25. Billy Wernst
26. Manny Ramirez

For Those Of You Who May Attend My Funeral In The (Very Near) Future...

please make sure that this song gets played

...and then this one.

My Former Selves!

Ephraim G. Pancakes [October 2005 – December 2005]

Rootabaga Power! [July 2004 – October 2005]

Marshes of Mallow [August 2003 – August 2004]