Flax Eyes!

For Bubs

2010-01-13T12:49:00.001-08:00

For Josh (Love Always, Your Friend)

2009-12-05T10:08:00.001-08:00

In Keeping With Traditions

2009-09-16T02:25:00.000-07:00

I'm now regularly posting at Petito's Tight Slice. Please know that I will reserve this blog for more intimate and personal diction, such as:

At approximately 5:30 AM I peed into a jar in my bedroom, two nights in a row.

Learn To Cut Loose & Be Serious At The Same Time

2009-06-17T17:06:00.001-07:00

Bojangles sent this to me.

In A Few Years

2009-04-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

Sensational

2009-03-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's quite obvious, Mr. Ellul, that you've never used Spaces on a 24" iMac.

This Year Thus Far

2009-03-07T11:52:00.001-08:00

Photo by Israel Hill

The Last Few Months

2009-01-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

@ The Fountain Of Youth

READ: Peter Camenzind By Herman Hesse

2008-10-06T21:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks Alex Boeckl.

"The unlimited spaciousness of the horizon affected me as deeply. Once again, as in childhood, I beheld the soft blue of immeasurable distances beckoning to me like an open gate. And the feeling swept over me that I was not born for a normal life at home among my people or in cities and houses, but my fate was to wander through foreign regions and make odysseys on the sea. Darkly, the old melancholy longing rose up in me to throw myself on God's mercy and merge my own pitifully insignificant life with the infinite and timeless."

"Wise and frugal, life remained silent, however, and let me drift. It sent me neither storms nor stars but waited so that I would become aware of my insignificance again and in patience lose my obstinacy. It let me perform my little comedy of pride and knowledge, ignoring this as it waited for the lost child to find his way back to his mother."

For Elly

2008-10-04T23:37:00.001-07:00

If I Could Turn Back Time

2008-10-02T02:06:00.001-07:00

How We Felt For It

2008-09-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

My Brightest Diamond / From The Top Of The World

Happy Birthday Ben & Other Things To Do On A Skate Ramp

2008-09-24T02:23:00.001-07:00

Grave Dancers Union On Cassette

2008-09-24T01:43:00.000-07:00

Josh called me around 5 PM (PST) to let me know that a local record store had thrown away a whole dumpster of cassette tapes. We managed to salvage these plastic masterpieces:

All this reminds me of:

• The time Josh and I dumpstered multiple Wendy's for soggy AirTran Cups after Night School
• How I gave The Only Girl I've Ever Loved my tape collection and it melted in the sun (a metaphor for our whole relationship?)
• My brother TJ's Teenage Obsession with cassettes

True Statement

2008-09-21T17:39:00.001-07:00

And so is the mysterious person who wrote this on the wall at Redlight.

READ: Ghost Stories by Jeff Lemire

2008-09-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
- Stephen Leacock

Seizure Palace

2008-09-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

Nick and Fran have trusted us (idiots) with the full use of their screen printing shop. We have been helping them out a bunch (with pro style jobs even). For all of you printing nerds out there who have ever screened posters by hand... feast your eyes on this beast!

Actually, this is the second batch of these posters because THE COLOR CLUTZ (not us!) put the colors in the wrong order on the first round.

I'll Be There Opening Night

2008-09-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

An albino gorilla in captivity uses sign language to communicate his plight to a little girl who befriends him, setting in motion an international escape plan.

Songs That Constantly Play Inside Me

2008-09-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

The Supremes / Baby Love

Amy Grant / Baby Baby

Bananarama / I Heard A Rumor

REM / The One I Love

Tears For Fears / Mad World

Innocent Pleasures

2008-09-14T03:04:00.000-07:00

Green Day / When I Come Around

New Found Glory / Dressed To Kill

Jimmy Eat World / The Middle

Lifetime / Monday Morning Airport

MxPx / I'm OK, You're OK

Saves The Day / At Your Funeral

Exploiting Our Potential

2008-09-09T02:41:00.000-07:00

I have compromised my blog by enabling COMMENTS which I have simultaneously renamed COMPROMISES. Please feel free to embarrass me, make an ass of yourself or put us both in compromising situations as often as you deem appropriate.

Behold The Glory!

2008-09-08T03:07:00.001-07:00

A Word Or Two About The Perfect Dessert

2008-09-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

Let's be honest here people, is there really such a thing as BAD ice cream? Sure there are flavors you aren't so keen on (actually, I can't really think of a single one). I mean I don't particularly like Chocolate ice cream, but you're fudging (pun) crazy if you think I wouldn't enjoy a whole plop of that poo if someone was offering. Even that badly freezer burned remnant of Pralines N' Cream (that your roommate refuses to finish) (but still won't throw away) (and well who can blame him, it's ICE CREAM!) is still pretty fucking tasty. I can even enjoy the occasional bowl of Mint Chocolate Chip, a flavor designed to bring pleasure solely to the taste buds of the female gender (much like the beer Blue Moon).

Growing up my family ALWAYS had ice cream in the freezer. We usually had it every night for dessert, even as far back as I can remember. When we would stay with my Nanny and Granddad, they would give us these little mugs filled with ice cream at night while we watched Looney Tunes. I clearly remember Cherry, Peppermint Stick, and Oh Fudge! Oh Nuts! (the latter flavor doubling as a curse phrase by my Nanny). To give you some perspective on how this effected me years later... just after my brief attempt at college, my roommates would make fun of me because I would fix a massive amount of food for dinner and then immediately run to the freezer to prepare a heaping bowl of Heavenly Hash or French Vanilla.

Recently I found out about this ice cream flavor called Otter Paws® (pictured above). I was turned onto it by my elder brother (unbeknownst to him) the last time we went to the grocery store together. See, my bro loves this ice cream called Chocolate Moose Tracks®, which is a chocolately concoction of fudge and peanut butter cups. Now I definitely got down on this flavor but like I mentioned before, chocolate-based frozen dairy is just not my cup of cream. However, Otter Paws is a perfectly executed variation of Moose Tracks since it features:

A. a superior vanilla flavor foundation
B. chocolate covered walnuts (in lieu of peanut butter cups) which crunch (like otter bones) and taste as delicious as one might imagine a sea otter tasting (a clam-smashing balance of sweet and salty)
C. a more appropriate name – Moose Tracks sounds like what happens in my toilet

So I've been buying gallons of this creature treat on a regular basis and here is my only critical feedback. The paw to ice cream ratio is WAY OFF... I need more otter paws per cubic square inch! I ultimately realized this after getting an apparently abnormal gallon that had 4 or 5 times the typical amount of crunchy chocolate walnuts. To the factory worker who botched that batch I'd like to commend you for your graciousness. Now let's talk about how we make it happen again.

Well that's it for now. Hopefully you are inspired as I am. So go on and treat yourself (Richard style!)

Here is my Ecclesiastes:
Life is nonsense. Death is inevitable. Ice Cream is delicious.

[Editor's Note: My sincerest apologies to those of my "lesser privileged" friends in other places of the world who may never experience even a single bite of the aforementioned icy sweet cream (not to be confused with my former bunny friend, Sweet Cream, who perished at the hands of Dr. Mario in the garage late last year). I have a funny feeling that a giant banana split ice cream mansion awaits them all in heaven.]

[Editor's Elder Brother's Note Of Clarification: It should be noted that regular Moose Tracks does have a vanilla ice cream base to it (however) the kind that we opted for that night was "Extreme Moose Tracks"... the extreme part being the substitution of chocolate ice cream for vanilla.]

You Are Best Dressed In Barbecue Sauce!

2008-09-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

Today I discovered Derby Mustard and refuse to eat another meal without its condimental accompaniment.

READ: Two-Part Invention By Madeleine L'Engle

2008-09-01T15:26:00.001-07:00

But Love has pitched her mansion in
The place of excrement;
For nothing can be sole or whole
That has not been rent.
- Yeats

The place of excrement. That is where we are this summer. How do we walk through excrement and keep clean in the heart? How do we become whole by being rent? This summer is not the first I have walked through the place of excrement and found love's mansion there. Indeed, we are more likely to find it in the place of excrement than in the sterile places. God comes where there is pain and brokenness, waiting to heal, even if healing is not the physical one we hope for.

The State That I Am In

2008-09-01T00:56:00.000-07:00

I've been sleeping either on a skate ramp or a school bus. Homemade Thai food shows up nearly everyday to hang out (along with Longans and Lychees for dessert). My new best friend is a German Shepherd named Honey. There is a God residing in a place called Heaven.

Side Note: Portland is one giant high school circa 1994 – experimental sex and drugs are commonplace, Nirvana is on heavy rotation (the upside!) and Manic Panic is somehow still in style.

READ: The Man Who Was Thursday By GK Chesterton

2008-08-28T23:58:00.001-07:00

If Syme had been able to see himself, he would have realised that he, too, seemed to be for the first time himself and no one else. For if the Secretary stood for that philosopher who loves the original and formless light, Syme was a type of the poet who seeks always to make the light in special shapes, to split it up into sun and star. The philosopher may sometimes love the infinite; the poet always loves the finite. For him the great moment is not the creation of light, but the creation of the sun and moon.

A Wedding On Whidbey Island

2008-08-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

A weekend of wiffle ball and wedding gaiety on Whidbey Isle in Washington. This was the fifth (and final) wedding I attended this summer. It was also a reunion of my Mission Year (a volunteer program I did in Chicago 1999-2000) community.

Laura, Hope, Me, Fedisa, Ryan, Becky

Commercial for Talking Rain (my new favorite beverage) without the talking.

Neither Here Nor There

2008-08-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Oingo Boingo / Dead Man's Party

Talking Heads / Road To Nowhere

The Smoking Popes / I Know You Love Me

Soul Asylum / Runaway Train

Tracy Chapman / Fast Car

What Fran Just Showed Me

2008-08-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

This reminds me of Jess for a number of reasons.

Short, Sweet, Not Sure About The Point

2008-08-14T23:36:00.000-07:00

Ever contemplate who's running the show? Surely not I or yourself. And as much as we're along for the ride, it's time to start taking charge of something. Charge!

Pictures From Portland

2008-08-11T13:20:00.001-07:00

Portlando, Floregon

2008-08-10T14:01:00.001-07:00

Hanging with my best buddy, Josh E. in Portland and Amanda P. via vChat Orlando.

This Woman!

2008-08-10T13:29:00.001-07:00

Photo By Azuree Maisie Wiitala

I Found God!

2008-07-30T18:21:00.001-07:00

He works in the dairy section of a Hy-Vee grocery store stocking Root Beer Milk all day long!

KC, MO

2008-07-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm eating beef jerky with some Ethiopians (NANA-HEY!) in Kansas City, MO. I'm also hanging at IHOP but unfortunately the P stands for Prayer and not Pancakes. I was prepared to be uneasy about the whole operation but this place is wrecking me in the best way possible.

The Shepherd Keeps Watch Over His Flock

2008-07-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

The first leg of the trip... with my family in Cumming/Acworth, GA.

On July 21 2008, Austin Petito Died

2008-07-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm deceased... R.I.P.

Left & Leaving

2008-07-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

I spent the perfect day with my best friend and then I left my home. I'm on the other side of town living in a print shop that used to be my livelihood. It's right across the street from Universal. Every night at 10 PM there is a loud and glorious display of fireworks. A celebration. The old and new, gone and come.

I Know The Greatest People On The Planet

2008-07-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

One Of Them Is This Man

Just In Case I Never Post Again...

2008-07-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

Alicia Keys / No One

Enrique Iglesias / Be With You

Fergie / Big Girls Don't Cry

Mariah Carey / Don't Forget About Us

Parting Ways

2008-07-10T22:26:00.001-07:00

In about a week I won't be seeing this idiot everyday anymore. See more photos HERE.

A Wedding In Wausau

2008-07-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

If you want to see the heart of America (and I mean that in a good way) go visit Wausau, Wisconsin. For the full experience I suggest you order some Cheese Curds and Dillies (fried pickles), get yourself a Puma Kola and ask your local police officer for a baseball card (they hand them out instead of citations). The only things you won't find are Wibbies (Wisconsin black eyes according to Israel), punk bands, or any other sense of struggle.

Slice By Petito's Tightest

The Newly Improved Dan & Sephie Thompson

This Park/Town Is In Desperate Need Of Zombies... Trust Me!

The Wedding Party

Groom Dudes

Little League Petito

Sweet Stance Hill

Bunting Bowen (Can Be Applied To His Romantic Endeavors As Well)

Sprechen Sie Dave Young?

Sethula!

Real American Dudes

Old School Bible Study Buddies

Fawning

Israel & Fwiend

Amanda & Bunting Bowen (Even After A Beer Or Two)

Dudes & Cigars

Looking For Love? (In All The Wrong Places!)

Sometimes 4 Hetero Dudes Get Naked In A Hot Tub Together. And Pizza Beer!

Reality Sets In

[More pictures by Bowen]

A Weekend Of...

2008-06-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

secret rendezvous.

A Wedding In Chicago

2008-05-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

Design By Christopher Wiitala. Print By PTS. Photos By shortformelissa

Rabbit + Polar Bear = Artic Hare!

Two Of My Favorite Ladies Currently Living On The Planet Earth

Amy Nee, Making The Rest Of Us Look Like Pieces Of Shit

A Puerto Rican Cupcake Eating A Communist Cupcake

"Water Pistols. Jump Ropes. Rub-On Tattoos. Building Blocks."

Quick Highlights:

• Witnessing the wonder of two becoming one (with Azuree & Christopher)
• Drinking Puerto Rican Egg Nog (with RUM!) with Sexy Nexy
• Breaking at least three JPUSA rules with a host of hoodlums
• Making bouquets with the ladies
• Inspired late night talks with Amy
• Inspired noonday talks with Hugo
• Guitar Hero with Hannah the Canadian Slayer!
• Playing matchmaker with Daniela
• Shopping with Tiffany
• Spending the day with Kelly & Jason (Jack Daniels Master!)
• Crust with Mel & Julius
• Helicopter races with those leaves/seeds
• Falling in love with the girl in a rose-colored Volvo at Schiller & Damen
• Reminiscing with Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc and George MacDonald's Lilith

My First Love!

2008-05-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Jean Seberg as Joan of Arc

That's How People Grow Up!

2008-05-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

circa 2005

circa 2008

Top Ten Movies Featuring People With "Disabilities"

2008-05-10T00:28:00.000-07:00

I have an extremely soft place in my heart for anyone with some sort of noticeable "disability." I still have this vivid memory of a man with Down Syndrome falling off his bike one day because he accidentally ran over my friend's skateboard. To this day, I'm not sure exactly why it effects me so much. I think I'm either supposed to start volunteering at a local home or eventually I'm going to have my own child who is "handicap" in some way. For now I'll just watch these movies and think about how retarded we all are!

10. Music Within
I've only seen the trailer for this movie and it looks terribly cheesy, but it brings a tear to my eye and that's good enough for me.

9. The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter
I haven't seen this movie either, but i want to for the following reasons:
1. I've been entrigued by it ever since I saw the book (of the same title) by Carson McCullers.
2. It's one of the only good songs by the band The Anniversary.
3. The film version stars Alan Arkin.

(I couldn't find a good clip of the film or a good version of the song, so here is a painful video for another pretty fun song by The Anniversary).

8. Even Dwarfs Started Small (Werner Herzog)
This movie will force you to ponder three questions:
1. What the fuck?
2. No, seriously, what the fuck is going on?
3. Why are Germans the most fucked up people on the planet?

7. Benny & Joon
What can I say, I'm a romantic. AAAAAND... I'd fall in love with a mentally ill Mary Stuart Masterson any day!

6. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Because DiCaps is a shredder... duh!

Trailer HERE.

5. The Station Agent
Peter Dinklage is probably my favorite actor. It doesn't hurt that Michelle Williams is super cute.

4. I Am Sam
If this movie doesn't make you cry from laughter and heartache then you are a shell of a human being.

3. The Other Sister
"So let's see here, we'll cast Juliette Lewis to play the mentally retarded girl and then Giovanni Ribisi can be the mentally retarded boy... they'll both fall retardly in love and we'll be geniuses for making it happen."

\
(No two people in real life will ever be able to top this wedding ceremony.)

2. My Left Foot
Based on the true story (autobiography) of Christy Brown, an Irish artist born with Cerebral Palsy (rendering his hands and most motor skills useless). DDL destroys this role and I'm majorly in love with his mum.

1. Sling Blade (BB Thornton)
John Ritter as a gay man is incredible. Dwight Yoakam kills it as the abusive step dad. And Billy Bob Thornton gives the greatest performance of "retardation" of all time! Any questions?

(Oh and Jim Jarmusch kills it too!)

Carminative Herbs

2008-05-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

What appear to be tiny rabbit turds from afar are actually dried Coriander fruits (Cilantro seeds) that I harvested from the garden. Mash these golden nuggets with some Cumin and sprinkle them atop a buttery thick Avocado... there is no stopping the rampage!

My Brightest (Diamond)

2008-05-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

One day I may disappear
Don't be too surprised

I Check My Look In The Mirror...

2008-05-06T22:29:00.000-07:00

I remember seeing this album cover on my parent's dresser when I was probably 6 years old. I also remember saying Bruce Sting-sting a lot. What I don't remember is hearing this album jammed at high decibels while laughing, crying and dancing our way through it... not until about a week ago during the "work day" in the garage with one of my best friends. Thank you Cris Lankenau for doing something my parents failed to.

Bruce Springsteen / Dancing In The Dark (1984)

Why I Need To Leave This Country (While Still Rooting For Some Of Its Sports Teams)

2008-05-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

American sports channels decided it was more important to show Men's College Volleyball and Historic Boxing Matches instead of letting me watch the Flyers come back to beat the Habs!

The Killer In Me Is The Killer In You

2008-05-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

I spent the majority of the day listening to The Radio Dept. as a pseudo-memorial to Israel shooting Aaron's wounded dog, Buck, with a rifle.

Buck Hill, Rest In Peace
Justin Bowen, Gayest Hoodie Ever
Polly Palmer, Greatest Laugh Ever

The Radio Dept. / Pulling Our Weight

And The Daffodils Look Lovely Today!

2008-05-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I saw this note in my box of stationery and realized that it was destined to be in your hands. Doesn't the flower look like a penis with it's head blown off? I thought you'd like that.

- Azuree Maisie Norman (soon to be Wiitala!)

How We See, How We Are Seen

2008-04-27T19:26:00.000-07:00

I broke my glasses in a game of dodgeball. Well technically Baptiste broke them when he threw a ball at my face. No harm done. Cris fixed a salad and Rick made a meatloaf. The whole house smelled like wine at my Nanny's house. I had a fruit smoothie for dessert. A gentle voice sang... since I tell you my every day, my darling. I thought about a waterpark and the coming day. Another voice spoke to me and said... don't brag about tomorrow, since you don't know what the day will bring.

Bon Voyage!

2008-04-23T21:21:00.001-07:00

Yet another MUXTAPE... this one commemorating the sea and its constituents. (I hope you're happy with that Az!)

Mixed Up Wishes And Suspicions

2008-04-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

And a secret ambition is a little creeper that creeps and creeps in your heart night and day, singing a little song, "Come and find me, come and find me."
Carl Sandburg / Three Boys With Jugs of Molasses and Secret Ambitions

A singing bird, I call your name
in the middle of the nighttime.
I’m the smallest bird who calls your name
in the middle of the day.
The Innocence Mission / A Wave Is Rolling

Some People Mistake Me For Kathy

2008-04-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

The Thermals / Returning To The Fold

First Things First

2008-04-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

Aliens in outer space,
chewing on wax teeth,
pretty faces in makeup,
ugly holes in the ground,
and The Eagles Greatest Hits...

we are all of us doomed!

This Is What We Live For!

2008-04-21T17:15:00.000-07:00

West Palm Beach

Inspired By The Grocery Store

2008-04-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

I want to shop in your aisle
Canned Fruit and Marshmallows

I want to preheat your oven
Cake Mix and Cooking Oil

I want to dine on your insides
Sweetheart and Horse Hooves

I have a pocketful of pancakes in the softest of places
And the hairs that are there want Pine Tar and Placenta
You sing like a canary
Unhatched and Unhinged
Cage Matched and Cream Filled

I want to dine on your insides
I want to lick the plate clean

Lullaby (For The Working Class)

2008-04-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

pull down the shades
unplug the telephone
let's disappear

Stephanie The Barber Beefcake

2008-04-13T00:25:00.001-07:00

Remember that time in Chicago when I asked to hold your arm during The Virgin Suicides?

Getting Muxy

2008-04-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

Here's another muxtape entitled Rid-A-Bug Records Presents: Team Kosher Junior Varsity Skateboarding Walkman Mix

Saturdays Belong To Me Like Summer's Love

2008-04-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

If you've been deathly ill recently (like me) and need a little boost... I mixed up 24 tracks of syrupy sweet pop to help the medicine go down. I only made 10 copies so if you want one please email your address to: petito@tightslice.com

Quiet City

2008-04-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

For some reason I didn't see this for nearly a year after it came out, even though it features one of my favorite people in the whole world (Cris Lankenau). Now I have a crush on him more than ever... and Erin Fisher too.

Damn you genuine pretense! Damn you unending infatuation!

Mixy Carmichael & The Barbershop Quartet

2008-04-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished with this Anti-Sick Pop Mix... in the meantime, enjoy this Muxtape I made!

Top 10 Old Grey Whistle Test Performances

2008-04-01T00:24:00.000-07:00

Old Grey Whistle Test (OGWT) was a British music show that ran from 1971 to 1987. In complete contrast to Top Of The Pops (TOTP), Old Grey (Old Gregg!) featured bands actually playing their songs, often times songs that weren't necessarily hits. This list is a response to My Top 10 Top Of The Pop Performances.

10. Edgar Winter Group / Frankenstein

I'm not huge on instrumental tracks, but the albino giant kills the keys, sax, drums, etc for 9 minutes. Edgar Winter reminds me of that one crazy blonde terrorist from Die Hard 1.

9. Nina Hagen

The female version of Klaus Naomi, except spawned from Hell instead of Outer Space. Nina Hagen reminds of The Smurfs and Mad Madame Mim from Disney's Sword In The Stone. (The original video from OGWT is no longer available, so I posted this one of her on the Merv Griffin Show with Don Rickles... if you can make it through, kudos to you).

8. Roxy Music / Do The Strand

Skip ahead to 1:20 to hear Ferry and Eno kick it out. Roxy Music remind me of Jon Kraft.

7. Cheap Trick / I Want You To Want Me

Equal parts cool (see cigarette hanging from drummer's lips), fun (see Rick Nielsen's goofy stage antics) and holy (see Robin Zander's angelic voice and wardrobe). Cheap Trick remind me of my dad because it's his favorite band next to Relient K (no joke).

6. The Runaways / Wasted

A rare and rebellious performance featuring Joan Jett and Lita Ford. The Runaways remind me that I need to be in an all-girl band before I die!

5. OMD / Dancing

A perfect reason why OGWT was way cooler than TOTP... this song was allowed to air! OMD remind me that it's okay to try new things while I'm dancing.

4. The Smiths / This Charming Man

A mosh pit in a flower bed never looked more glorious... and neither did Morrissey's hair. The Smiths remind of a hi-fi on the second floor of a three-floor flat in Chicago, IL where I once resided for one year.

3. Talking Heads / Pyscho Killer

In another life these people spent every day having picnics in the park, in this life they wrote some of the most outrageously original songs ever! Talking Heads remind me that sometimes I have a crush on Tina Weymouth.

2. The Rezillos / (My Baby Does) Good Sculptures

I didn't purposefully put them #2 on both lists, it just worked out that way. Clearly this performance shows why. The Rezillos remind me of my younger sister and how fun music can be.

1. The Specials / Too Much Too Young

It doesn't get any cooler or truer than this! The Specials remind me of sex-can-wait shoelaces. TRY WEARING A TOP!

A Few Finds I Found In Durham

2008-03-31T22:54:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Where is this magical place and why don't I live there?

Things I Did This Past Week

2008-03-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

• Drove to Durham, NC in an attempt to relocate there
• Shopped frugally (sort of) at a Kroger
• Watched a show about Japanese architecture in a hotel with Israel and Barnocky
• Foresaw that I wouldn't be offered a job in Durham
• Drove to Duluth, GA to work on my website with James
• Won a game of Gaylord Perry with TJ, Joe, and James (thanks to that pole in the last inning!)
• Felt relief when I wasn't offered a job in Durham
• Watched a few film interpretations of Samuel Beckett plays with Joe
• Danced with Otis and Ruby
• Threw wiffle balls to my genius little brother who is obsessed with the alphabet
• Drank RW Knudsen's Sparkling Strawberry Juice
• Played LOTR pinball at a Taco Mac (a restaurant chain in GA that doesn't sell tacos)
• Lost badly in a game of Phase 10 (even though I had a total of 5 points after the first 5 rounds)
• Walked through woods and creeks with Mark and Mammers (some people call this "Hiking"... I don't)
• Talked about making BLTs for Pugs with The Orrico's ("Mitza, you want a sandwich?")
• Held my new baby sister, Laney Rae (the first Petito girl born in 77 years!)
• Rejoiced over Opening Day!
• Drove home to Orlando in high hopes of the coming year there

Dear Orlando...

2008-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

Am I doomed to squeeze juice from your plastic fruit for another year?
I make a note.

Regretfully yours,
Marion B.

This Is Beautiful

2008-03-23T20:17:00.001-07:00

I Like Food, Food Tastes Good!

2008-03-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Cleaning up your computer can be a real treat!
I'd like to thank Hostess Fruit Pies circa 2004 for helping make this possible.

7 Minutes In Heaven

2008-03-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

No Pate de Fois Grass... Genius!

For The Record...

2008-03-18T14:07:00.001-07:00

I've been ginger ale daydreaming in a coconut bathtub.

Florida!

2008-03-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

TrampQuake 1 / shortformelissa

TrampQuake 2

TrampQuake 3

That's My Bike, Punk!

Best Fwiends! / ajpokorny

Orlando Bike Crew Ruling St. Augustine!

2 Bros Bike

Waltham, The Best Band On The Planet!

2008-03-14T10:38:00.001-07:00

Inspired By Youngblood

2008-03-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in a small Canadian town
lies a boarding hostel for minor league hockey players
and a matinee showing The Slumber Party Massacre
where the sight of blood brings to mind:
memories of stolen romance novels,
a walkman playing Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac,
and an old wooden desk where someone scrawled "This Heart Is Not A Test"

Inspired By Tomato Basil Bisque

2008-03-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

There once was a cow
in such a quandairy of udderment...
she shuddered and uttered,
"should I cow or capitulate,
lactate or cream?"

Inspired By Edward Lear

2008-03-12T03:20:00.000-07:00

An old man and his grays
daydreamed in a daze,
"if I crave for the days
of my crazier ways,
it behooves me to say,
I must be insane!"

Inspired By Bugs Bunny

2008-03-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

the bloodbath
the rabid bat
foams with rage
bares its fangs
the rabbit freezes
suddenly sneezes
ABRACADABRA
back into dracula

A Quarry Of Quips & Quibbles

2008-03-11T23:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone should have a personal brochure so that we can easily learn a little bit about each other.

Modern-day dating should be cast into the sea. Instead, public libraries would host formal meetings (held in little privacy booths) involving those aforementioned personal brochures and resumes.

Before you propose to marry...
1. ask your friends and family what they think... they know you best. Most likely their eyes are not made of kaleidoscopes.
2. go canoing together... just the two of you. Most likely you'll find out pretty quick if things are going to work out or not.

Seaweed is a good toothpaste. Pine Tar is an excellent shampoo. God is a giant snail who lives in heaven.

Humility might mean that you have the gift to lead others to the choicest fruits. It will definitely mean that you love them if they choose rotten meat instead.

Tell someone whom you love and trust the worst things you've ever done. Most likely you'll be much more free to love and trust.

Typically, I Don't Condone Blasphemy

2008-03-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Troll 2

Lately At The GayNotGay Kingdom...

2008-03-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

2-minute dance party to Wham!
[Side Note: In the very next room, our friend Daniela is finishing up a very intense presentation on her recent excursion to Palestine/Israel]

My date, Muji, getting ready for Prom!

Joe, you belong here!

Why Are All The Best Words Associated With Breakfast?

2008-03-06T21:17:00.001-08:00

Sausage
Syrup
Sizzle
Pancakes
Freshly Squeezed
Canadian Bacon

[Side Note: I wouldn't mind Freshly Squeezing some Canadian Bacon!]

I'm Pretty Sore That I Did Not Design This Masterpiece

2008-03-06T21:12:00.001-08:00

This logo is so filthy for too many reasons to list.

Postgraduate Artistic Renderings

2008-03-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Colleagues:

Jamison Lee / Cara Denison / Austin Petito

Course Study:
Contour Line Renderings in a Composition Book with Eye Contact only on the Colleague to be drawn

External Variables:
Jamison Lee / Placebo
Cara Denison / Psychology Dept.
Austin Petito / Alien Autopsy

Renderings:

Cara draws Jamison

Austin draws Jamison

Jamison draws Cara

Austin draws Cara

Jamison draws Austin

Cara draws Austin

Austin draws Jamison in Jamison's style

Cara draws Jamison in Jamison's style

Jamison draws Cara in Cara's style

Austin draws Cara in Cara's style

Cara draws Austin in Austin's style

Jamison draws Austin in Austin's style

This Is What Happens In My Life

2008-02-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Richard Barnocky / Tidal Wave

Why Do I Constantly Find Myself Reading The Same Three Books Of The Bible?

2008-02-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life."
Psalm 32:8

The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
Proverbs 20:24

Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
Ecclesiastes 11:5

The...

2008-02-27T13:34:00.000-08:00

The Breeders / Divine Hammer

The Rentals / Waiting

The Lightning Seeds / Pure

The Soup Dragons / Whole Wide World

The Legends / He Knows The Sun

Sicker Than A Dog In Heat!

2008-02-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

Damn, I have been sick. Sicker than I ever thought possible... more thoughts of death than usual. These have been some dark days. I have resolved myself to the following:

1. Back to eating healthy... my 2 year phase of eating Taco Bell, monkey, shitty burgers, and other horrible things has come to end.

2. NO MORE movies, NO MORE television... I'm over it!!!

3. Build a root cellar and move into it.

4. Make an Anti-Sick Pop Mix to combat my woes!

My Favorite Movie At My Favorite Grocery Store!

2008-02-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord, Thank You.

2008-02-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

Club 8 / Jesus, Walk With Me

Today I...

2008-02-04T23:23:00.000-08:00

Woke up [11:00 am]

Ate a brownie prepared 2 days prior by an older brother (you cut it too soon!) [11:15 am]

Washed my body with Wickedly Hot Chocolate (that Polly left when she went to India) [11:30 - 11:45 am]

Made a feeble attempt at potent prayers [12:00 noon]

Hoped to receive a random phone call from an ordinary radical speaking in Orlando [12:15 am]

Used the line "I'll call you on your shit, please call me on mine... so we can grow together" in a context that Propaghandi probably never intended [1:00 pm]

Played approximately 13 holes of golf with the most unwholesome threesome to ever hit Winter Park Pines [2:00 - 6:00 pm]

Fixed flowering broccoli florets for dinner [6:30 - 7:00 pm]

Watched Grissom unravel the case of at least the third body buried in a sand bunker [7:00 pm - 8:00 pm]

Rode a 1986 Peugeot and wondered "will Jesus save me... and take me through the day?" [8:15 - 8:30 pm]

Assisted a Fat American with the printing of nearly 100 metal plates for the Gagosian Gallery in Paris while jamming Daniel Johnston, The Amps, Sonic Youth, The Vapors, Gary Numan, The Raincoats, and more [8:30 pm - 1:30 am]

Thoroughly enjoyed a Ham & Turkey Pita and a bottle of V8 in front of a 7-11 [1:45 - 2:00 am]

Rode my tired bones and "silently, I wish(ed) to sail into your port" [2:00 - 2:15 am]

It Really Is True...

2008-02-03T20:32:00.000-08:00

Words Of Hope

2008-02-03T09:41:00.000-08:00

One of these days these days will end
DC Berman / Pretty Eyes
(For Daniel)

We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
Psalm 39:6

We are no better off than a diabetic cat staring out a glass window.
Marion Blackberry

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.
After all, everyone dies–
Ecclesiastes 7:2

Top 10 All-Time Greatest Top Of The Pop Performances

2008-01-31T18:23:00.000-08:00

Top Of The Pops (TOTP) was a British music television show featuring bands on TOP of the POP charts (duh!). It ran from 1964 until 2006. The show was ridiculous for a number of reasons (as you shall see) but mainly because the bands "performed" (mimed and lip synced) to their commercially recorded song. This concept was never really a secret to anyone and most bands opted to look professional by "playing" along... while some played it up (the Brits say "taking a piss"). Sometime in the early nineties TOTP starting allowing the lead singers to actually sing live over the backing musical track (the other musicians still never played). Overall the show is littered with irony and sarcasm (whether intentional or not)... but the Brits love that sort of thing and so do I!

10. Sparks / This Town Ain't Big Enough

Definitely one of most underrated bands of all time (and this list). Ron Mael's creepy hair, glares, and EVERYTHING definitely steal the show.
[Side Note: Yip 1 (or 2, I can never remember) just pointed out that David Kendrick, who later joined Devo, is playing drums. MORE FUN DEVO FACTS: Jim Mothersbaugh was a drum tech for Sparks!]

9. Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) / Enola Gay

An incredible song with an incredible performance by lead singer Andy McCluskey. He reminds me of a teenager singing and dancing to his favorite song in front of his bedroom mirror. What I can't figure out is why the producer/sound engineer decided to mic the audience so loudly through the entire song? And what's with all the chitter chatter people? This song is clearly about moving and shaking!
[Side Note: Actually this song is about the horrible atomic bombing of Hiroshima by the US plane, Enola Gay, which happened on August 6, 1945... 34 years prior to the day I was born!]

8. The Specials / Gangsters

Lead singer Terry Hall looks absolutely bored out of his mind here! Ha! In their other performance for Do Nothing (appropriately titled) he looks even more bored and is chewing gum. I chose this performance because I think Gangsters is much better and more upbeat (in complete contrast to Terry's disposition). Turrific!
[Side Note: While The Specials were skanking it up during this TOTP episode, I was busy being 2 weeks old and my parents were trying to figure out which of the 2 tones I was!]

7. Madness / One Step Beyond

Madness definitely win out for having the MOST amount of AMAZING performances on TOTP (see Baggy Trousers, Cardiac Arrest, and Our House). I chose One Step Beyond because it's an instrumental track and that's pretty ironic. Dancing through the crowd was a fun idea as well.
[Side Note: Yes, two ska bands on one PRAISEWORTHY list.]

6. Cameo / Word Up!

Not half as good as their videos but at least two times better than almost every other band who has appeared on TOTP. I'm especially happy that Larry Blackman is adorning his Candy Apple Red jockstrap/cup.
[Side Note: Yes, my POPS still questions my sexual orientation!]

5. The Smiths / William, It Was Really Nothing

The quasi-God is up to his old tricks again: Graceful Charisma, Paradoxical Messages , Immaculate Hair... and he doesn't even need a microphone to do it!
[Side Note: No, I don't have a Morrissey poster in my room and Yes, I DO like women.. although celibacy is a beautiful thing!]

4. The Sundays / Summertime

First off, I'm a little biased because this is one of my favorite bands of all time (meaning: I've liked everything they've done... with the exception of their cover of Wild Horses but that's mostly because I don't like The Rolling Stones... with the exception of their song Start Me Up). This is a rare TOTP performance in that Harriet Wheeler sang live and sounded pretty flat (especially in that first verse before the Light of God shines upon her and she perks up a bit). This song is still incredible and whenever I hear it I get an insatiable urge to make a smoothie thanks to this video.
[Side Note: I've said this before and I'll say it again, Harriet Wheeler is SEXY!]

3. The Wedding Present / Flying Saucer

Every Wedding Present song EVER is about David Gedge's horribly shattered romantic endeavors... which makes this Devo-esque performance that much more IRONIC?
[Side Note: Every Cinerama song EVER is about David Gedge's horribly shattered romantic endeavors.]

2. The Rezillos / Top of the Pops

Wry Scottish Wit, there's so much irony here I can't even begin. Also, I am completely mesmerized by Faye Fife's stage presence... she makes me want to start the craziest band! (see also My Baby Does Good Sculptures)
[Side Note: Uhhhhh... I just found out that Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight was originally recorded by Fleetwood Mac (before they were good) which adds more and more irony!]
[Side Note To The Previous Side Note: The video I linked for Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight is the opening scene of Jackass: The Movie which is "the all-time greatest opening scene of a movie ever" according to my POPS.]

1. Nirvana / Smells Like Teens Spirit

Clearly the greatest and FUNNIEST performance of TOTP's history. I laugh every time Kurt starts singing. This video speaks for itself and shows that Nirvana was one of the most IRONIC bands ever.
[Side Note: I hadn't noticed before this rendition but this song is ABOUT ME!... starting at 1:22 he sings "A mulatto? An albiNO! A Petito! My libido? "]

I Have No Idea Why Someone Did This, But I Certainly Would Like To Thank Them

2008-01-30T22:50:00.000-08:00

An Article I Wrote Last Summer Has Made Its Way To The World Wide Web

2008-01-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

Ha! This is awesome... and boring!

I Rarely Ever Buy Movies But This One Cost $5

2008-01-05T10:13:00.001-08:00